Dear friends,
October! I have let time slip without writing. The last month, however, has been a magic time for me with my 3 young grandchildren returned from Europe and living in my home. I am filled with awe watching baby and pre-school children learn. A wobbly baby one day becomes a crawling power house the next. Pre-schoolers are creative philosophers.
So much of their time is spent in “discovery learning.” I had forgotten how early the child’s code of conduct, “fair” and “unfair”, sets in. Obviously as parents we do often categorise the actions of people as fair and unfair. But how quickly children shape this construct of “fair and unfair” to manipulate their world and give strength to their argument. “It’s unfair!! Why should I have to go to bed before Tom?” “He got a new pair of shorts. I didn’t get anything.” The examples are endless.
Incorporated in the word “fair” is the child’s distillation of how the world should work. They watch parents and listen and then they start processing the rule- the rules of how things should happen. When parents are consistent in their approach then processing the rule becomes easier and more reassuring.
As a granny, I have also been amused at how the “fair/unfair” rule is used by the older child as a powerful tool to dominate the next in line. “Now I am the biggest so it is only fair that I start. Look! Look! I will show you how it should be done.” It is shamefully and delightfully manipulative and powerful!
Children are extraordinary in their ability to piece things together. As family members we are delighted when they echo something we believe in. When they repeat our adult views we think they are truly clever!!
We need to also be even more amazed when they state something quite different. Children can deduce a rule or a conclusion that is utterly creative and individual. We are often in danger of stifling this creativity in thought and problem solving by telling them it is wrong, laughing at them and telling them they are funny little thinkers etc. Children are quickly wounded. They stop expressing their own thoughts in order to please.
Sometimes exploring the fair/unfair rule is a first chance to question and test authority. They not only test our frameworks but constantly revise their own.
Thinking for themselves,
being innovative in thought,
building theories and constructs from how they view their world,
and being passionate about their beliefs,
are surely positive traits that we would seek to support.
Next time your child is furious with you or calling the world unfair, and you are exasperated at such manipulating whingeing, think of it as a positive! (I can hear the Kiwis saying, “Yeah Right!!” )
Your child is imposing an intelligent structure to make sense of the world and to argue a point!
Cheers for now,
Ruthie Hillen
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Dear Friend,
I spent some months recently in Paris for the advent of my third grandchild. There is nothing more precious and affirming of the precious gift of life than a new born. Playing with the other children and reading to the new babe became part of my every day life. What surprised me however was the comment from my daughter and friends that I should write a book on play because I seemed to find it so easy to move from one activity to the other with the children and keep them excited and interested. On the other hand they confessed to getting stuck for ideas, not really knowing what would support their children’s developmental growth and not being able to make the educational connections between play and more formal readiness for language, numeracy and literacy.
Certainly play which includes reading and conversations is important from the day the baby is born onwards. Most of us engage quite naturally with our children and whether by design or serendipity we make wonderful supportive family connections. I began to ponder and gather together the ingredients of play that I knew from my experience as an educator would support children. And so the kernel of a book on play was seeded in Paris and has taken shape in Western Australia!
Key to its creation was the thought that we make lifelong bonds with our child which we hope will carry them forward in a positive way. It is important therefore that we do the things with our children that will afford them a best advantage.
The book “A World of Play“, highlights the importance of play in a child’s life. The activities can ensure that every mother, father, grandparent, nanny, child carer, early childhood teacher, has enough ‘tricks of the trade’ and ideas up their sleeve to engage a child enjoyably for short or long periods of time. The games and play activities are designed to encourage a positive approach to discovery and creativity. They should support a child to develop strong language, emotional, social and physical skills, as well as memory training. All will stand in good stead for future learning and a healthy lifestyle.
It is not just another book with a list of games to play. All themes not only describe a raft of games, but easily incorporate and model the language that young children should be encouraged to develop. They provide opportunities for carer and child to take a look at social behaviours and the emotions that the child is trying to control and beginning to understand. The activities provide opportunities for your child to practise physical skills in a safe, non- threatening and yet sometimes competitive environment. These will underpin later more complex skills and games. Such opportunities are embedded in games, experiments, cooking and arts. Through the games suggested in this book you are also beginning to train explicit memory when asking your child to consciously recall facts and to build on these. The greatest advantage however is that the child is playing with a powerful and significant adult who cares. Giving your time and having this power to support is crucial.
Play should accommodate your child’s individual and unique personality
Play is an opportunity to showcase your child’s learning
In play you can become a magnificent elephant one moment and a flying bird the next
Layer upon layer of experiences sets the delicate structures for ongoing child learning
Imagine …
- every parent being able to have their child totally engaged in playful activities with them. For you both to be dressed up as pirates or farmers or a train driver and to have them squealing with delight at the fun of it all. Wouldn’t that be great?
- Or what if you simply used suggested play activities to encourage their imagination. Let them run wild with ideas about being in the jungle or on a farm or casting spells from their wizard’s den and allow them full rein to explore possibilities. How would that feel if adults had the ideas and confidence at their fingertips ready to roll?
- being able to assist early language development and to establish sound emotional foundation and physical motor skills.
I believe that everyone can make this possible through every day play, but it helps if you have the ideas and you know how to make the links to the building blocks of child learning.
From my experience as an educator, teacher, parent and grandparent, I have endeavoured to emphasize the importance of play in a child’s life and to pass on many of the ideas that have worked for me when working with children
I hope many of you across the world will buy the first Volume of, “A World of Play”, and find it an extremely helpful resource in your family. I hope too, that you will continue to visit my website and join in the discussion topics that are raised. I hope to be able to use your email comments and questions to continue to be relevant in response; to discover what it is that families need. If I can target my support to reader need, then my time spent on the website would be worthwhile.
Cheers for now,
Ruthie Hillen
