Hey!

• Do you know what lies ahead for your child?
• Are you confident that what you are doing now is the support that will ensure success?
• Do you even know what you mean by “success” for your child?

Many parents say things like, I just want my child, -“to be happy and well adjusted” or “To be able to take a worthwhile place in life” or “To be sensitive to others and kind” or “ To do the best he/she can”  or “To contribute to a better world” These are all worthwhile goals. They are however, “VERY BIG” general statements which are hard to break down into manageable steps that one can deliberately support. Instead we all just tend to hope for the best.

What things do you want for your child?  What will you do to help your child achieve any of these?

Bringing up our children seems both the easiest and yet the most difficult and daunting thing we will ever be asked to do. We cannot even second guess what sort of future will be offered to them or created by them in our changing world. Their life is no longer the immediate landscape or local community environment that it used to be for people my age. Many children have already moved house several times, visited many countries and most certainly viewed an expanded world through the lens of video or television.

It is scary to think of how important our role as a parent is. In growing towards independence, young children are hugely dependent on parental guidance and extended social systems for support. Their healthy future relies on the positive interactions and modelling of people around them. The ability to gain confidence, to be flexible in their achievements and to have insight into the character and personality they develop in childhood is the basis of their well being. Some children will rise way beyond what they thought they could ever be and some will feel challenged or disappointed by their world. Every parent would like the rising star to be theirs! Yet from that first moment of birth which takes the breath away with wonder, your child is indeed a shining star. You believe you will do anything to help it soar.

Much is said about the power of books and story telling. Many families now see the value of reading to their child from the moment of birth. Certainly children learn by listening. Equally, children learn by doing.

Between birth and the age of 4 a child has observed and practiced and acquired an amazing repertoire of skills. From babble to a vocabulary of over 1500 words, from attention seeking cry to complex sentence forms and questioning, from complete dependence to playing cooperatively with others, from awkward or jerky   limb and body movement to skilled and deliberate manipulation of the body and the ability to copy shapes, from observation and internalisation of the world around to a beginning cognition that allows them to manipulate and make sense of what is happening.

Creative games, fun activities, drama, music dance are all partners in allowing children the opportunity to explore language, to evaluate their skills against others, to become cooperative and competent social players, and to be sensitive to their own feelings and characteristics.
In every-day play children are confronted by choices and problems to solve. With the safety of a trusted parent or relative by their side they have the opportunity to explore issues and form opinions. They take responsibility. If they can do this in a positive way and resolve any barriers or conflicts they meet while playing, then they are certainly on a positive learning journey.

What you play can have a positive influence on your child’s development. Certainly a child can manage their own activity a large part of the time. They can be absorbed in a television show or video for many hours.  Nevertheless nothing beats the interaction of a child and adult in play. When a parent or significant other adult takes part in the game then many new dimensions are possible for the child.  Clearly there is the opportunity for early language acquisition. Children learn how to bond positively through trusted and safe relationships. Having sound attachment to both parents allows growing independence and the beginning of social competence.  Building social capital is essential to being able to maintain friendships without resorting to underhand manipulations, bribery or bullying. The opportunity to test relationships and clarify values and rules is more safely practiced in play.

In every-day play children are confronted by choices and problems to solve. With the safety of a trusted parent or relative by their side they have the opportunity to explore issues and form opinions. They take responsibility. If they can do this in a positive way and resolve any barriers or conflicts they meet while playing, then they are certainly on a positive learning journey.

There can be nothing more affirming for a child than to develop a sense of solidarity with the family and yet the ability to be different. If your play sessions are targeted and flexible you help your children to manage themselves as little people capable of making decisions and problem solving. They are able to drive a game in many different directions.  Children do not easily work cooperatively in a group. Playing with one significant and safe person is the beginning of small group play.  In this small group of two,   however, the adult can ensure the practice of cooperative learning in a safe and responsive way.

Fun and learning is the best perspective of doing things. Play allows you to discuss the most serious of matters in a light manner but still mange to get the seriousness or gravity of it understood.

The gestures and friendship signals that you are able to give your child ensures trust and confidence.

Clarifying and erasing doubts, experiencing warmth and feeling connected are the best nutrients a child can get. You can give it.